So I know I haven’t been around. Life is hitting me pretty hard lately. I’m still trying to get through Dune but I’m constantly distracted by Gossip Girl, working too much, and trying to stay positive about things. It’s not easy.
I don’t know how to put this lightly, but my job is making me absolutely miserable. I mean, it’s never been my favorite job, but it’s honestly becoming too much for me to handle. I have coworkers that don’t show up, don’t listen, and don’t do their work. All of their responsibility is falling on my shoulders and I am already overworked as it is. I have been so frustrated with the way things are going I can’t stand it. I’ve never felt appreciated at this company and honestly, I don’t think anyone sees my value or understands how hard I work to keep our Titanic of a business from sinking. As soon as certain life situations are cleared up, I am getting another job and never looking back.
Another problem I’ve been having lately is my freaking skin. I don’t know what the deal is, but I’m guessing it’s winter weather. I am DRY. DRY DRY DRY. I can’t get my skin to hold any moisture, especially my face. I’ve tried everything, from super hydrating cleansers to hydrating masks every few days. Nothing is helping. I’m really over this. It’s actually becoming painful to put lotion on my face, that’s how dry it is. What is the deal!? The good news is that I work from home so I don’t actually have to go out in public with my super dry face.
I have no idea when I’m going to finish Dune. I love it and I can’t put it down when I actually pick it up. I’m having a hard time picking it up, though. I’ve been having a really hard time with some things lately and when that happens I tend to go back to things that I’ve watched or read before. I find it really comforting to watch TV shows I’ve seen a million times. I think it’s because right now there are a lot of things that are happening to me and I don’t know the outcome and it’s making me super anxious. To make me feel better, I like to surround myself with things I do know the outcome of, like The IT Crowd or Gossip Girl. I’ve see IT Crowd so many times I literally know every word. I fall asleep to it every night. It’s just comfortable to me. I should probably not enable myself with these things. I feel like I’m just sitting comfortably in old cycles because I’m anxious and having a hard time, but I also don’t think trying to change it is something I can do on my own. Maybe I just need to do whatever I can to get through what I’m going through. Is there anything wrong with that? I’m not sure.
I got a journal today on Amazon. This blog is a great out let for me, but there are some things that I need to share with myself and not on the internet. Maybe that will help too.
There are a lot of other things I should be doing. Our fall wedding is now a spring wedding (2017) and I still haven’t put any thought into how that’s going to go. No one tells you how to plan a wedding. If you do it right you only do it once and does that even make anyone an expert? I have no idea what I’m doing. So many girls have had their whole wedding planned since childhood, and I am definitely not one of them. I’m glad I’m not, actually, because I am very glad my fiance and I get to plan our perfect day together without my girly fantasies taking over and making the decisions for us.
Speaking of my little family, here’s a fat ass…